My Month In Internet Re-Hab

Chapter One – Broken Arrow

It was a dark and stormy night. Rain was lashing the windows and flashes of lightning were crashing through the sky like …whatever. It was a storm. You’ve seen one before.

The house was hit and lightning knocked out the oven, my TV and my internet. Normally I unplug it, but decided to just turn it all off. There’s a lesson for you, dear reader.

Once the storm blew over I tried all the usual things you do to get Internet working again. Unplugging it, leaving it a while and plugging it back in and so forth. None of that worked and since it was a storm I figured it had struck the cable and knocked it out. My phone was also out, so it seemed the logical answer.

Calling Optus, I spoke to the first of many tech support representatives. He was from the phone support section, and while I was talking to him via mobile, my Optus phone decided to resurrect itself and start working again. He put me through to cable support.

This is where the fun began. Indian Tech Support.

Now… Before you jump to conclusions, let me clear this right up. I don’t get annoyed with foreign tech support because they are foreign. I get annoyed because when you’re trying to fix a problem, you need to be able to understand what the person is telling you, and they need to understand you. It doesn’t make a difference that they are Indian or Filipino or Martian. The same thing would apply if they were speaking in a strong Cockney accent.

It’s just hard to communicate with them. Not racist. End of story.

So, I’m talking to the first guy and he tells me to do all the standard stuff. Unplug the modem, turn off, reconnect and so on. I’m just getting no signal at all from the modem to the computer. At this point, I’m thinking it could be the actual outside cable, the modem, the Ethernet cable or the motherboard. I didn’t have a network card, just on the board.

Optus Guy says that from his end, it’s all working perfectly and there’s no problem. I ask if it’s the modem and he tells me that it can’t be, because he’s getting good signal from his end. It must be my computer.

Fine. It’s not the modem.

The next day I go to work and buy a network card from a guy there for $30. Expensive, but I had no internet. It’s like crack, brother.

At the end of the day I take it home and connect it up, and the card is as dead as a dodo. No lights come on or anything at all. I guess it could be the Ethernet cable…

Next I go to Jaycar, a shop that sells various electronics and such. I took the cable down and they ran it through a tester, which came up fine. I bought another network card and tried again.

Still nothing.

Having nothing to lose I called Optus again, to make sure the first guy wasn’t just on Work Experience.

Indian.

I explain what I’d done last time and that I’d already spoken to them and had replaced the network card and so on.

He goes through exactly the same thing again and tells me the modem is fine. He says to me, “Do you have a laptop to plug the modem into so that you can see it’s working?”

“I don’t have a laptop, sorry.”

“So you don’t have a laptop you can plug it into so you can see it’s working?” He suggests.

“No, I don’t have a laptop.”

“Oh.” A pause. “Can you get a laptop so you can plug it in to see if it’s working?” He suggests.

“I don’t have, or have access to a laptop.”

“If you have access to a laptop you could plug it into that to see it is working.”

I sighed, and reached for a weapon.

“I don’t have a laptop, and cannot access one. Look, I’ve checked the cable and it’s fine and I’ve now used two different network cards. Are you sure it’s not the modem?”

“It is not the modem, It is fine from here.”

I bid him farewell and hung up the phone.

 

Chapter Two – Not Without Supervision

Buzz Lightyear Tron

This is awesome.

Created by http://iamclu.deviantart.com/#/d35f8uh

Returning to the old Google Images

If you’re like me and loathe the way that Google has changed it’s image search, this post is for you. Unfortunately you need to be using Mozilla Firefox in order for this to work. There may be ways with other browsers, but I don’t use them and so I wouldn’t know.

Google’s image search used to bring up a bunch of tiles when you search, saying the web site and sizes of the images. They would display maybe twenty at a time, with a 1 – 2 – 3 – NEXT page listing at the bottom. Sure, you had to click through a few pages to find the perfect image, but it was uncluttered and loaded quickly. A few months ago they changed the system to display many more images, and to see more, you’d just scroll down. While that may sound easier, it was crowded and made the images more difficult to see. What’s more, is if you’d click in the search form again but move your mouse away after clicking, it wouldn’t let you type in the search box again.

I searched around the net to find a way to return to the old search, and there were only a few solutions. You could type into the URL and add “&sout=1” but you had to do that for every search. You could also scroll to the bottom and there was a link to return to the old search, but again that worked for just the first search.

Eventually I found a tech blog called http://www.ashout.com and it had my preferred solution. I’ve put it here for you. a-shout contains other solutions if this one isn’t for you.

Install Redirector Add-on for Firefox browser

After installing it, we need to add a small redirect in Redirector add-on. For that open that Add-on and click Option button

Now click Add button which is available below of this add-on

You will see new window, in that enter the detail as given below

In Include pattern enter http*://www.google.*/images?*

In Exclude Pattern enter http*://www.google.*/images?*sout=1*

In Redirect to enter http$1://www.google.$2/images?$3&sout=1

and select Wildcard option and click OK

Now go and search in New Google Image search, it will automatically show result in Old Google Image Search Layout.

Thanks to the developers of the Redirector add-on and to a-shout for the tips.

Checking Videos Before Downloading & Other Stuff

Downloading videos is a big part of my internet usage.   Living in Australia, and being an active internet user and very much into pop culture, Sci-Fi and tv is extremely difficult and it’s really for no good reason as far as I can tell.

When awesome new shows appear on US networks, it often takes weeks or months before they are played on television here, and if it’s anything other than a lose weight series or some variety of CSI show, then sometimes it never airs at all.   Star Trek was ruined in Australia because the channel that aired it would put it on late at night, at different times and on different nights of the week.  They end things mid-season and they never return.  Star Trek Voyager ended in a two-part episode and the end was never aired, nor were the last few seasons.  If they were, it must have been at some ungodly hour.

For fans, this means you either wait for DVD, or you download.

Lately the main series I’ve been into is Dexter, and as usual Australian TV is lagging behind the rest of the world and not showing it until weeks later.  If you’re a forum goer or internet user, you already know what’s going to happen and can’t participate in the discussion groups because you’re months or weeks behind.   With a series with as many plot twists as Dexter, waiting to see it is frustrating and ruins the entire show.

Sadly, when downloading tv these days, it’s a massive gamble due to the Internet’s population of idiots and jerks.   For some unknown reason (and if you can explain why, please do) people upload fake episodes, old episodes and rename other shows so that when you download them and open them up, they aren’t the one you want.  Frustrating.

When each episode is 350mb or in Dexter’s case, 550mb then that’s a lot of bandwidth to waste.  Yes, Australian internet has a monthly allocation of data.  Again, it’s retarded.

Luckily I’ve found a way to preview the episodes after they’ve downloaded only partway, so that I can at least save some bandwidth limit if it’s a fake.

To do it, you need VLC media player , an open source player by Videolan.

When you download the file, make sure it’s a single link and not a multi-part .rar file.  There’s no way in Hell I’d trust those because you have to download the whole thing and extract it before viewing.

When you’ve downloaded part of the .avi file, go to the location and you’ll see two parts.  The first will be FILENAME.avi and the second FILENAME.part

Right click the FILENAME.avi and choose Open With > VLC Player

The player will open, but it won’t play.  Then, drag the FILENAME.part into the VLC window, and you’ll be told you need to repair it.   Do so, and the part that’s downloaded will play.

Having said that, make sure you watch until the actual episode is playing because some Internet Dirtbags just re-name old episodes, so you can’t judge by the credits alone.

There are no doubt other ways to preview, but that’s the one I use.   Hopefully it’ll help you save some bandwidth too.

The Replica Prop Forum

Since being displaced from my usual Internet Haunts, I’ve come across a magical place called the Replica Prop Forum, or the RPF. I heard about it from Mythbuster’s Adam Savage, who spent quite a lot of time and effort in making the perfect Prop Replica of the Maltese Falcon, from the Bogart film of the same name. I think he may have mentioned the forum in one of his tweets from his donttrythis Twitter account, but it was a while ago, so I’m not sure. It doesn’t really matter.

The RPF is a place for people who make, collect and trade movie props and costumes in extreme detail. Adam Savage and Grant Imahara both worked on the Star Wars prequels, making various pieces for those films, including work on R2-D2. Movie props and serious collectibles have been something that has always fascinated me, even since I was little. Unfortunately I’ve never had enough spare cash or space to get anything really good, plus a lot of the best stuff is in the States and ridiculously expensive and/or illegal to import to Australia without a wallet filled with permits.

My own collection is pathetic in comparison to the items that turn up on the RPF. The two of mine I really like are my Indiana Jones Golden Fertility Idol, and my Wolf-Man Cane from the original Wolf-Man movie. Neither would be up to the insane standard of the RPF, but they suit me. I’m really after a Lightsaber, but there are many varieties, and they are really expensive. One day though, I’ll own one. Hell, it’s almost Christmas.

RPF is a pretty exclusive site, it seems, with intakes of new forum members occurring very infrequently. I haven’t had a chance to sign up, but I lurk quite a lot. One guy is building a ‘studio scale’ replica of a Star Destroyer. It’s incredible. Another guy is making the Galactica, another the Death Star. Another thread is full of containers used in the various Star Trek shows, with both the on-screen versions and the original source bags, satchels and other items used by the prop masters to make the originals for the show.

You’re probably thinking, ‘so what?’ Let me explain what Studio Scale is. The Star Destroyer mentioned above is eight feet long. The Death Star I don’t have measurements for but it looks to have a radius of at least a couple of feet. The detail on these things is also astounding.

When the movie guys make the original ships to be filmed, they come up with the concepts and because no kit model exists, they take various and sundry parts from a vast range of commercial models. I’d have to assume they cast their own parts as well. Some of the lightsabers, for example, use parts from an old hand grenade. Another uses a handle from a faucet as the base. It’s complicated, it’s extreme, it’s very, very cool.

Due to what seems to be a severe case of collective O.C.D. the prop replica makers, especially these studio scale guys, match every single piece to the original screen used version. If you browse the forum you’ll see people ask questions about a particular screw, rivet or greeblie from a certain film creation. Sooner or later, someone says, “Oh that’s part number 314 from the Panzer Tank kit released from AMT in 1974″. I made that one up, but I swear it’s like that. Go there, you’ll see.

A part of me wishes I had even a fraction of the skill of these guys. Hell, a part of me wishes I just had the spare cash to buy some of the stuff they put out. It’s the attention to detail that gets me more than anything. Check out some of the samples floating around the forum as we speak.  All work is credited to the various owners and builders. I claim no rights.

Remember, these aren’t kit models. They are built from scratch.

Each ‘dot’ done by hand.	Star Destroyer 'Neck'. Each part is a different model piece.	Star Destroyer Details
Rebel Transport	Twilight Zone 'Invader'	Bat-Wing

The Dead of Malton

Urban Dead Logo

Urban Dead is a web game that has been around for a few years now.  It’s a zombie survival game set in the city of Malton, which is presented as a 100×100 city blocks.  Malton has all the things you generally find in cities, like taverns, hospitals and police stations.  Because it’s a zombie horror, you also need several malls.

The game involves creating a character, picking a class and setting forth into the city where you can enter the various types of buildings to scrounge for survival materials.  Depending on the type of building,  the loot will vary.  For example, first aid kits are found in hospitals, whereas guns and ammunition are more likely to be found in one of the various police departments.  There are also mundane items such as newspapers, bottles of booze and ornaments from museums you can use to decorate your base of operations.

Action points control the game and each player starts out with 50 points that slowly regenerate over time.  Action points are used to move from location to location, build barricades, scrounge or fight.  In essence every action requires an action point.  Once they’re used up, you’re forced to sleep until the points build up again.

Roaming the streets are the player controlled zombie hordes.  Once a player is killed (or chooses to start play as a zombie), they roam the streets looking for lunch.  As a zombie you can break down barricades and gain various skills over time, such as better durability and better bite or claw attacks.

Unfortunately you also have to watch out for other players, as there is nothing to stop a regular human from attacking and killing another human for whatever reason.  People can chat in the game and have set up guilds and websites to collaborate attacks and better survive.  The zombies also team up, creating vast hordes which roam the map destroying everything in their wake.

It’s all text-based, and you have to log in regularly to stay alive, but all is not lost.  Handy labs run by a company called Necrotech provide ‘revivification syringes’ which can return a zombie player to life when used.  It’s not uncommon to play as both during your Urban Dead career.  If you’re into zombies, and want something fun to do on the net when you’re passing time, then Urban Dead is worth checking out.

If you decide to stop by, come and find Jannix Quinn, currently resident of Hoyle Place Railway Station, Lockettside.